I said I was going to write about previously this because I think it is important. I also think that this is one of those things you really need to learn how to do well and how to talk about it properly. I am very sure that one time, about five years ago, I cost myself a chance at a director job when I was in a room with three potential direct reports talking about how to teach people to fire other people. I may have sounded a little too enthusiastic to people who I may have been about to inherit as a team. Unfortunately, that’s usually how I talk about most things.
To start with, let’s talk about what this is not. This is not a substitute for the checklists your HR manager gives you. This is not a primer on labor law in your state of residence or employment. Finally, this is not something that is trivial or should be done lightly.
When I am interviewing a manager, or giving someone a battlefield promotion, I generally ask the question “Have you ever had to fire anyone before?” It is not surprising that not many people have, and for the people that have, most of them remember the first person they fired. Usually because it is something that happened swiftly and brutally, and often it is a moment that people feel they could have handled better. Some of them have shared horrible stories about it. Sometimes it is at a small enough company that there are improper HR practices in place and lawyers get involved.
If they have not had to fire anyone, then I want to make sure they understand how important it is and why it is important to do it right. I do point out explicitly that they will have a high likelihood of having to do this in their chosen profession, and it is worth getting to the point that it can be done compassionately, cleanly, and professionally. I have had to fire good people before and I have had to fire people who are great personal friends. I have been blessed that they still remain that way and sometimes I have brought them successfully into new roles elsewhere. I have given great professional references for people I have had to fire and also been happy to see when they have career successes. It is worth talking about that with folks and make sure they realize it is not personal.
Now that the stage has been set, hopefully you have a few years between this conversation and the next one when there is a person who is not meeting expectations.
It is a good idea to let your managers do most of the hands-on work themselves but at the same time you should offer to be present or offer to help as much as they want you to. From the meeting where they sit down and explain where the issues are, to the written statement of what needs to improve and the window that they have to make that improvement, this is something that a manager needs to do. Maybe they want you in the room to listen, or maybe they want you to ghost-write the written warning. Be available but not overbearing. This is a human conflict situation which some people do not like, and it is nice to have support.
Do not push a first-time manager to fire someone. You should explain to them why a role adjustment may be good in some cases and may not be good in other cases. They should realize that they have to fire the individual in question and be okay with it. If they disagree, it is worth resolving that between the two of you. The last thing you want to do is just remember that this needs to happen while you are running between meetings and you fire off an email saying “you need to fire that person ASAP”. That is a pretty poor way to push something so delicate to completion.
Now that there is consensus, you should give them some coaching on how to go through “the script”, when to hand it off to HR (if you have HR), and when to bring the meeting to a close. I have sat in on some of the final termination meetings with people (at the request of the manager) and it is better to say as little as possible, but I would advise adding a hand gesture or phrase to indicate that it is time to wrap up the meeting. I have observed that while you want to be compassionate for the employee in question, it is important that this does not turn into a negotiation. If it has gotten to the point where this meeting needs to happen, it should be pretty final, generally they have had warnings and time (up to a month) to make any adjustments needed, or have done something so egregious that it necessitates a rapid removal from the building.
I also advise people not to do this on a friday. I am now at the point where I prefer not to give people strong negative feedback on fridays. It sucks to go into the weekend with a heavy negative emotional load from your job. If there is no need for urgency (material danger, or risk of something happening on live operations), it is always better if you can move this conversation from a Friday to a Monday. You do not know the battles people are fighting, and I have started to land on the side of compassion and decency where possible.
There is probably a lot more to say here but we would be moving into the realm of “work with your HR partners”. This is their specialty and you should work with them on the particulars.
That being said, when you are giving a battlefield promotion to that hard-working, bright-eyed, ambitious, first-time manager, please sit them down and explain that this is among their responsibilities. Tell them some of the lessons you have learned from doing this during your career. Give them some guidance on how to do it cleanly, professionally and, most importantly, with some compassion.
If you have any tips on how to help people come to grips with this most delicate part of management, please share them!
