One of the most important things to do as a leader is to give people enough space to make their own mistakes. It is really hard to do and it is important. Some people learn better from making mistakes as opposed to being told that they are making a mistake. Ideally, they learn over time that it is better to listen to counsel than to keep making mistakes.
Now it is time for me to tell a story about my father.
My father hated everything about computers. I understand his reasoning although given what I do on a day-to-day basis you might expect that we disagree on this point. He has done multiple jobs over the course of his life—farmer, butcher, woodcutter, and many others. Over time he built up a beautiful farm where I was raised. I did not appreciate that very much when I was growing up—I was too busy trying to figure out how to escape to pursue my own dreams.
I have two older brothers who continued on with my father’s way-of-life. I watched from the sidelines as my father attempted to teach them valuable lessons. More often than not, they would hear my father’s advice and choose to do their own thing—they wanted to make their own mistakes.
I wanted to write about this because I realized recently that he was trying to impart his wisdom to them and I was struck by one phrase he used repeatedly.
“You are going to stick your hand into the fire. The problem is that you are dragging my hand in with yours.”
He would say this with a visceral amount of frustration. I could hear it in his words and see it in his pained expression. Nonetheless, he would let them stick their hand in the fire and shake his head sadly when something went wrong.
I still do this from time to time—I stick my own hand into the fire, as well as have my own hand dragged into the fire by someone else.
I appreciate his frustration and pain much more now than I did when I was growing up on the farm.
The hope is that you can communicate the pain of a mistake sufficiently to someone else that they can agree not to stick their hand in the fire. It is much harder than it sounds.
If you get burned by sticking your hand into a fire, it is a good idea to admit it and acknowledge it to anyone whose hand you dragged into the fire with you. You owe them the courtesy of the mea culpa.
It is also equally important to admit it to yourself. This will help you appreciate someone’s advice in the future when they are going to counsel you not to stick your hand in the fire.
If you scoffed at this article, then please click on this link. This is a book about making mistakes. For example, it would be a mistake for me to link this book and not tell you that I am going to get paid as an Amazon Affiliate. Maybe it is a mistake for me to recommend products on Amazon that I have not actually bought? Either way, thank you for reading along this week and I apologize for last week’s holiday induced hiatus. I truly appreciate you reading along even if you are not providing me with a veritable shower of nickels and dimes from sweet, delicious Amazon Affiliate merchandise.
See you next week when I hope to have all of my FTUE stuff live.
PS: If you are all about that hashtag TTRPG and you also think that tutorials are for suckers, you should go and sign up now before I go and improve site onboarding.
